September 2024

It has been a month since I last journaled. I skipped August to have time to dedicate to getting things on track, including my evening tutoring sessions, the creation of the August edition, the creation of new content pieces, and (last but not least) my Japanese study.

Lately, things seem to be a little bit confusing, so I guess it’s time to note them down – so that I may navigate the path forward with more clarity.

Now, where to begin…

September 10

Recently, many morbid things seem to be popping up constantly.

• The Yagi storm (one of the worst storms ever recorded in the last few years), which has completely devastated the northern part of my country.
• The collapse of the Phong Chau Bridge in Phu Tho (something that I have not heard for quite a while). It reminds me of what happened years ago – when I was so horrified by the idea of crossing bridges that I acquired the habit of praying whenever one in my family had to travel to/ from Saigon (at that time, the bridge that connected my hometown and Saigon was found fragile and susceptible to collapsing any time).
• The Russia-Ukraine war, which just keeps escalating with little to no hope of a peaceful resolution.
• The upcoming US presidential election, where people seem to prefer pointing fingers at each other rather than conversing with respect and a moving-forward mindset.
• etc.

Memento Mori, Memento Mori!

Life is impermanent; what’s the point of indulging, chasing illusions, and living like a shadow – when one’s life can be taken away so easily?

What’s the point of being rich and famous, being featured in the top news, and being greeted by others with awe? Does it matter in the end?

What’s the point of being a world-class speaker, being the CEO of a multi-billion-dollar company, being a social media celebrity, and earning thousands of dollars per month? Can we take these things with us when it’s time for us to step beyond the veil?

I cannot help but wonder: Why do many people seem to be drawn to social media posts like “Celebrity A is coming to Country B”, “Taylor Swift just became a billionaire”, and “Film A just broke the record in terms of revenue”, etc.? What’s the point of interacting with these posts?

It’s like a cult, a religion that does not worship the Divine – but the Impermanence! It’s like reveling in death and preferring to drink poisons instead of antidotes.

I remember once working with a female colleague who frequently dressed very immodestly. I understand that people have their own convictions when it comes to their personal choices. But you know what?

Her reason for dressing immodestly, as stated directly by her (not by someone else), was to “excite the boys”. To make them like her.

It was to draw people’s attention to her. To become a self-made “celebrity”. To flatter her own ego.

The problem was not her clothes – but her intention.

And what’s worse, people around her (many of my colleagues at that time) seemed to be OK with that statement of hers (one even grinned upon hearing that she wanted to “excite the boys”). In fact, many other female co-workers also dressed in the same way (though I’m not sure about their intention, whether it is the same or not).

I cannot help but wonder: Is it the result of an increasingly popular consumerist culture? Of one that places a too strong emphasis on the self, on “being all you can be”? Of earning as much money as one can, getting a high social status, and earning people’s “respect” (and unfortunately, jealousy at the same time)?

Is there any limit to humanity’s greed?

I assume that there is one: Death itself!

To think that we are so engrossed in vanities – until we finally realize that they mean nothing before the Grim Reaper…

To recognize that when we are so obsessed with the self (specifically, the self-centered self), we confine ourselves to this physical world, and will perish for good one day…

To finally accept the fact that “the Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing”. That “no-self” is the ultimate truth, that only by dying may a seed keep life running…

To embrace the truth that one needs to make the most use of their precious time to pursue things that truly matter – helping the community and giving back – so that they may transcend their physical limitations and live on after their time on Earth…

One day you will wake up & there won’t be any more time to do the things you’ve always wanted. Do it now.

Paulo Coelho

So what truly matters to me now?

I assume that I can list down some of them here:

1. To keep this blog running and share things that I believe contribute to the community (including writing articles and working on my monthly newsletter series)
2. To spend more quality time with my family, knowing that people have their own weaknesses and need comfort from time to time
3. To keep pursuing a teaching career path – one that is not about making money, but about empowering others in whatever way I can
4. To take care of my own health; otherwise, there will be no energy emitting from me for others to regain that of themselves
5. To maintain my Japanese study, so that I can better understand what’s the thing that has been constantly summoning me to Japan and binding me to Japanese cultural values (this means I also have to find a sustainable way to get in contact with Japanese)
6. To get in contact with people, so that I can keep accumulating life experiences and keep my energy level high (I assume it means it’s time to either find a full-time job or a location where I can work alongside others – I’m tired of being isolated at home)
7. To meet the responsibilities I have with people who are connected to me (including my family, my part-time employer, and so on).

A lot of things to do; in which order should I tackle them now?

I assume for today, let’s deal with #3 and #7 and #4 first. I have a few classes tonight (luckily, I have prepared the materials for most of them). So this afternoon, I need to finish the lesson plans, look for a JP job (if possible – otherwise, maybe it’s time to consider the option of a co-working space), and plan for a walk (which I assume can be done after tonight’s classes if necessary).

Tomorrow, it’s time for #5 (the N1 test is approaching; I cannot keep slacking off. Not to mention, I need to find a sustainable way to practice kaiwa too).

On Sunday & Friday, I will tackle #1 (time for the September edition).

Ok, sounds like a plan. Here I go!

Tenki ga iikara, hajimemashou!

(12:55 PM GMT+7 – September 10, 2024)